Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
