If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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