how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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