I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
