hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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