it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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