I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Randomize
