dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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