But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize