dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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