i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
