You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
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There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
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I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
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