Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize