So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
