I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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