dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
We're too hungover to prance.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
