how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
