pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I am puke
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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