who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Someone shit on the floor
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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