You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
