We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
