Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
