I think i peed on brittanys purse
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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