I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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