new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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