i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I fill condoms, not promises.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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