Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
i think my cat just said my name.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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