garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
im about as happy as oj after his trial
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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