Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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