You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
