My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
