About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
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You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
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I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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