I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
