She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
