remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
