Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
