I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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