Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
