so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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