Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize