Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
