my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Randomize
