my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
My liver just had a heart attack.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
