If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
