smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
she smelled like a LAN party
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
