I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
