I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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