Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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