Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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