im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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