He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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