I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
