She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
