I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
