I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
You made out with two different species that night
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize