Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
