College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
can u get pink eye on your cock?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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