On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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