Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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