Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
