It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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