But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
no you cant smoke seaweed
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
